You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
