Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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