Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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