did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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