remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
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