Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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