everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Randomize
