dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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