remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
