I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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