guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
