he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
