Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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