How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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