you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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