as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
