420 ftw
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
