She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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