worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
