Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
