I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
