Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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