Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
