if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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