i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
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