True but thats because hes a fetus.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
