He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
