the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
