I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
