I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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