dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
