she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
