Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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