at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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