I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
