This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
