if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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