..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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