The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
