At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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