sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
