Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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