I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
We named our party play list daddy issues
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
