Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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