u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
