is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
