If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Also, beer. Big fan.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Everclear isn't food dammit
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
