Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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