ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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