I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
that's an acceptable place to lick
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
