I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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