i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
